All Praise is due to Allah,
Lord of the worlds, our Cherisher and Sustainer. All praise is due to Allah, who
created spouses for us from ourselves to gain rest and kept love and mercy
between the Husbands and the Wives. Countless Durood and Salaams be upon the
most perfect and unique of creation, our Leader, our Master, the Beloved of
Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala Muhammad Mustafa SallAllahu Ta'ala Alaihi wa ala
Aalihi wa SaHbihi wa Baaraka wa Sallam.
The Holy Qur’an says: “…So the righteous women are obedient [to Allah SubHanuhu
wa Ta'ala and submissive to their husbands], and guard in [the husband’s]
absence what Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala would have them guard [i.e., their
chastity and the prestige and property of the husband]…”
[4: 34]
As a wife, side by side with enjoying equal fundamental human rights, a woman
has been placed one degree below the husband in the matter of administering the
affairs of the family. The Qur’an says: “…but men have a degree over them…”
[2:228]
Compare this with the
following verdicts of the exponents of modern scientific thought on this
problem.
Says Nemilov: “Man, perhaps even down
to the protein molecules of his tissue cells, is biologically different from
woman. From the very moment of sex formation in the embryo, the biological
ducting of the sexes develops along entirely divergent paths … We must recognize
the unquestionable existence of the biological inequality of the sexes. It goes
deeper and is of far greater import than it would appear to those not familiar
with natural science.”
“The desires and conduct of the two sexes”,
says Mercier, “are not similar but are complementary and reciprocal. In
courtship the male is active: his role is to court, to pursue, to possess, to
control, to protect, to love. The role of a female is passive … Consequent on
this fundamental difference are certain others. For pursuit, greater ardour is
necessary than for mere reception; and the courting activity of the male is,
throughout the whole animal kingdom, more ardent than that of the female; and
this greater ardour is connected with certain other differences.” .
Julian Huxley observes: “I venture to
prophesy not only that the inherent differences between the sexes will not tend
to diminish in the course of evolution but that man will continue, as now and in
the past, to emphasize them by custom and convention.”
It should, however, be
clearly kept in mind that, in the Qur’anic teaching, the husband and the wife
stand in complementary relation to each other, and never in the relation of the
ruler and the ruled. The Qur’an enjoins upon men: “They are your garments and
you are their garments….” [2:187]
In the presence of the husband, the Holy Qur’an has not chosen her to function
as the head of the family, because owing to his masculine constitution and
appropriate mental make-up, the husband is better equipped to earn livelihood
for the family, to bear the physical strains, and to avert dangers to the family
in general. The Holy Qur’an refers to these functions of the husband when,
speaking of his role for the wife. It says: “Men are the protectors and
maintainers of women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has given the one more
than the other, and because they spend of their wealth …”
[4: 34]
Of course, the husband has to administer the family jointly with the wife,
according to the Qur’anic Law: “… who conduct their affairs by mutual
consultation …” [42: 38]
As a follower of the Qur’an, it is only in extreme cases that the husband may
differ irreconcilably with the wife. But, then too, he cannot transgress the
bounds of justice and mercy of the Holy Qur’an, which commands him to be always
just, merciful and considerate.
The second position of the
wife as administrator is, thus, not a source of suffering for her but a source
of strength and a blessing.
Every woman must obey the legitimate commands of her husband. Appeasement of
husband is a great virtue while the displeasure of the husband carries heavy
prosecution. The Holy Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “If
I were to command humans to prostrate before anyone other than Allah SubHanuhu
wa Ta'ala, I would have commanded the women to bow down before their husbands.”
The Messenger of Allah SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has also said: “If a woman
dies in a state that her husband is happy with her, she would enter the
Paradise”.
The Glorious Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has also said: “When the
husband calls his wife for some work, she should immediately attend his call
even if she may be sitting by the side of her hearth ”. The Hadith means that
the wife should give top priority to attend to her husband.
Another Hadith says: “If a husband says to his wife to transform a yellow
mountain into a black one or turn a black mountain into a white one, she should
obey his orders”. The Hadith means that the woman should try to perform the
hardest of the hard job assigned by her husband.
The Holy Prophet SallAllaho
Alaihi wa Sallam said: “Allah’s SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala Angels curse the woman
throughout the night whose husband calls her to bed but she refuses and the
husband goes to sleep in anger”.
Relations between husband and wife have been conceived as based on mutual
cooperation, love and compassion. The Holy Qur’an says: “And among His Signs is
this that He created your mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your ; verily in
that are Signs for those who reflect.” [30:
21]
It means that : -